10 Tactics for Carers to Get Someone to Eat & Drink
Caring for someone who is refusing food or drink can be one of the most emotionally draining parts of caregiving. Whether you are a professional care worker supporting residents in a care setting, or looking after a loved one at home, it can feel worrying, frustrating, and sometimes even upsetting when someone in your care will not eat or drink enough.
You may wonder if you are doing something wrong, especially when you have tried encouragement, reassurance, favourite meals, or different routines without success. The reality is that challenges around eating and drinking are extremely common in care settings, particularly among older adults and people living with conditions such as dementia, depression, reduced mobility, illness, or swallowing difficulties.
A lack of nutrition and hydration can quickly affect someone’s physical health, mood, strength, recovery, and quality of life. Dehydration may cause confusion, headaches, dizziness, urinary tract infections, and falls, while poor nutrition can lead to fatigue, muscle loss, weakened immunity, and malnutrition.
The good news is that small, thoughtful changes can often make a significant difference. In many cases, encouraging someone to eat and drink is less about “convincing” them and more about creating comfort, dignity, routine, and enjoyment around food.
This guide explores 10 practical and supportive tactics carers can use to help encourage eating and drinking, including strategies for general care situations, reduced appetite, depression, and dementia care.
The Challenge of Encouraging Someone to Eat and Drink
There are many reasons why someone may stop eating or drinking enough. Sometimes the cause is physical, such as pain, nausea, swallowing difficulties, dental problems, constipation, or medication side effects. In other situations, emotional and psychological factors may be involved, including loneliness, anxiety, confusion, grief, or depression.
Older adults may also experience a natural reduction in appetite, thirst, taste, and smell as they age. Some individuals simply forget to eat or drink regularly, especially if they are living with dementia or cognitive decline.
For carers, the difficulty often comes from balancing concern for the person’s health with maintaining dignity and avoiding conflict. Repeatedly encouraging someone to eat can unintentionally create stress around mealtimes, particularly if the individual feels pressured or overwhelmed.
It is important to remember that this is a common challenge in care. Progress is often gradual, and even small improvements in hydration or nutrition can have a meaningful impact on someone’s wellbeing.
3 General Tips on How to Encourage Someone to Eat and Drink
1. Give the Individual Choice and Control
One of the simplest but most effective ways to encourage eating is to give the individual as much choice and independence as possible.
People can feel frustrated when they lose control over aspects of daily life, especially in care settings. Offering choices helps restore dignity and makes meals feel less clinical or forced.
Rather than asking open-ended questions such as “What would you like for dinner?”, try offering two simple options:
“Would you prefer soup or a sandwich?”
“Would you like tea or juice?”
“Would you rather eat now or in half an hour?”
This approach can feel more manageable, particularly for people with cognitive difficulties.
It can also help to involve the person in meal preparation where appropriate. Even small activities such as stirring ingredients, buttering toast, or choosing snacks can increase engagement and interest in food.
For family carers at home, it may be useful to keep favourite foods available, even if they are not traditionally considered “healthy”. If someone is eating very little overall, enjoying familiar comfort foods is often more important than achieving a perfect diet in the short term.
2. Consider Timing, Medication, and Routine
Meal timing can have a significant effect on appetite and hydration.
Some medications cause nausea, dry mouth, constipation, drowsiness, or reduced appetite. Others may need to be taken with food, while some people feel fuller or more tired after taking them.
Keeping track of when the individual seems most willing to eat can help you identify patterns. For example:
They may eat better earlier in the day
They may prefer lighter evening meals
Appetite may improve after pain relief
They may drink more between meals rather than during them
Consistency also matters. Familiar routines can reduce anxiety and help the body anticipate food at certain times.
Try to:
Serve meals at regular times
Avoid rushing mealtimes
Allow enough time for chewing and swallowing
Offer drinks regularly throughout the day instead of waiting until someone appears thirsty
For some individuals, large meals may feel overwhelming. In these cases, smaller portions offered more frequently can feel far more achievable.
3. Create a Calm and Comfortable Mealtime Environment
The atmosphere around eating can strongly influence how much someone consumes.
Busy environments, loud televisions, strong smells, or multiple conversations can make mealtimes stressful or distracting, particularly for people living with dementia or sensory sensitivities.
Simple changes can help create a calmer and more enjoyable experience:
Reduce background noise
Ensure good lighting
Use comfortable seating
Serve food at an appropriate temperature
Sit at eye level when assisting someone
Social connection can also play an important role. Many people eat better when meals feel like a shared experience rather than a task.
Even sitting and chatting for a few minutes while someone eats can help them feel more relaxed and supported.
Importantly, try to avoid arguments or visible frustration around food refusal. Gentle encouragement is usually more effective than repeated reminders or pressure.
3 Tips on What Can Help Stimulate an Older Person’s Appetite
4. Offer Smaller Meals More Frequently
Large meals can feel intimidating, especially for older adults with reduced appetites or fatigue.
Instead of focusing on three large meals a day, it may help to provide:
Smaller portions
Nutritious snacks
Easy-to-eat finger foods
High-calorie drinks or smoothies
Examples include:
Yoghurt
Cheese and crackers
Soup
Milkshakes
Fruit slices
Toast with toppings
This approach can feel less demanding and may reduce the pressure associated with sitting down to a full meal.
It is also useful for individuals who become tired easily while eating.
Hydration can be encouraged in the same way. Some people may drink more willingly if fluids are offered little and often rather than in large glasses.
5. Focus on Smell, Colour, and Presentation
As people age, their senses of taste and smell often weaken, making food seem less appealing.
Enhancing flavour, aroma, and visual presentation can help stimulate appetite.
Warm foods with appealing smells, such as fresh soup, toast, or baked meals, may encourage interest more effectively than bland or cold options.
Bright colours and contrast can also help individuals recognise food more easily. For example:
Colourful vegetables
Contrasting plates and tableware
Garnishes or sauces
Avoid overcrowding plates, as this can sometimes feel overwhelming.
Texture matters too. If someone has dental issues or swallowing difficulties, softer foods may be easier and more enjoyable to eat. However, meals should still look appetising and varied where possible.
6. Encourage Gentle Movement Before Meals
Light physical activity can naturally stimulate appetite.
This does not need to involve structured exercise. Even gentle movement such as:
Walking around the house or garden
Chair-based exercises
Stretching
Helping set the table can increase alertness and hunger.
Fresh air can also improve mood and appetite, particularly for individuals who spend most of their day indoors.
For carers, this tactic can be especially useful when someone appears sleepy or uninterested before meals.
Of course, activity should always be appropriate to the person’s mobility, energy levels, and medical condition.
2 Tips on How to Get Someone to Eat When They Are Depressed
7. Reduce Pressure and Focus on Emotional Comfort
Depression can significantly affect appetite. Some people lose interest in food entirely, while others feel too exhausted or emotionally low to prepare or finish meals.
When caring for someone who is depressed, it is important to remember that refusing food is often linked to emotional distress rather than stubbornness.
Repeated pressure to eat can sometimes increase feelings of guilt or anxiety.
Instead:
Offer gentle encouragement
Keep expectations realistic
Focus on comfort and reassurance
Celebrate small successes - even a few bites or sips may be positive progress.
Warm drinks, favourite foods, and familiar routines may feel more manageable than full meals. Some people also find softer or easy-to-eat foods less overwhelming during periods of low mood.
Compassion and patience are particularly important here. Depression can make everyday activities feel exhausting, including eating.
8. Make Eating a Shared Activity
Loneliness and isolation can reduce appetite significantly.
Eating with another person often makes meals feel more natural and less emotionally difficult.
This could involve:
Sitting together at the table
Sharing a snack during conversation
Having tea together
Encouraging group dining in care settings
The goal is not necessarily to focus on food itself, but to create positive social interaction around mealtimes.
For some individuals, distractions such as music, television, or conversation may actually help reduce anxiety about eating.
If the person feels disconnected from normal routines, involving them in simple rituals such as making tea or choosing snacks can also help rebuild engagement with food and drink.
2 Tips on How to Encourage Someone with Dementia to Eat
9. Simplify Meals and Reduce Distractions
People living with dementia may struggle to recognise food, use cutlery, remain focused during meals, or remember to continue eating.
A calm and simplified environment can make eating feel less confusing.
Helpful strategies may include:
Serving one food at a time
Using plain plates that contrast with the food
Reducing noise and visual distractions
Offering finger foods if cutlery becomes difficult
Simple meals are often easier to manage than heavily mixed dishes.
Some people with dementia may also become suspicious of unfamiliar foods or refuse meals if they feel overwhelmed. Familiar favourites and consistent routines can therefore be very reassuring.
Importantly, allow extra time. Rushing someone can increase confusion and distress.
10. Support Independence Wherever Possible
Maintaining independence is deeply important for many people with dementia.
Even if someone needs assistance, allowing them to participate as much as possible can improve confidence and willingness to eat.
Depending on their abilities, this may include:
Holding their own cup
Feeding themselves slowly
Choosing foods
Using adaptive cutlery
Eating with their hands
Hand-over-hand guidance can sometimes help if someone forgets the process of eating.
It is also important to watch for signs that eating has become physically difficult. Coughing, choking, pocketing food in the mouth, or avoiding certain textures may indicate swallowing difficulties that require professional assessment.
How to Assist a Patient to Eat and Drink
Assisting patients with eating and drinking to prevent malnutrition involves much more than simply serving food.
Good nutritional support includes:
Monitoring food and fluid intake
Recognising changes in appetite
Identifying signs of dehydration
Supporting dignity and independence
Making meals enjoyable and stress-free
When physically assisting someone:
Sit at their level rather than standing over them
Offer small bites and sips
Allow time for swallowing
Check food temperature
Watch for signs of fatigue or choking
Speak calmly and clearly
Hydration is just as important as food intake. Some individuals may dislike plain water, so alternatives such as squash, milk, tea, soup, smoothies, or water-rich fruits can help increase fluid intake.
If someone consistently refuses food or drink, loses weight rapidly, appears dehydrated, or develops swallowing difficulties, medical advice should be sought promptly.
Final Thoughts
Learning how to encourage someone to eat and drink can take time, patience, and emotional resilience. Every individual is different, and strategies that work one day may not work the next.
As a carer, it is important to remember that difficulties around eating and drinking are incredibly common, particularly among older adults and individuals living with dementia, depression, or long-term health conditions.
Small changes often make the biggest difference. Creating calm routines, offering choice, reducing pressure, and focusing on comfort can gradually help improve someone’s relationship with food and drink.
Most importantly, carers should not feel they have failed when these challenges arise. Supporting nutrition and hydration is rarely about finding one perfect solution. It is about continuing to adapt, observe, encourage, and provide compassionate support day by day.
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